I just returned from an Ayurvedic treatment and am feeling refreshed. Over the past two years I have been combining Alternative Medicine with Western Medicine and today was reflecting on the results. During this time my life has been cold-free and I only have gotten one sinus infection and my seasonal allergies are less. Ultimately this feels really good. I write about this tonight for two reasons.

First, I had time tonight to reflect on the gift this is for me and wonder what it would be like if more people could receive these benefits. Two of the sisters in my local community (the group I gather with for prayer and faith sharing on a regular basis) are leaders at CORE/El Centro (http://www.core-elcentro.org/) and work hard to serve the Milwaukee area through  healing and natural life skills. The thing that I admire about CORE/El Centro is that it is an organic community of people trying to help one another on the journey toward better health. The services provided are for people with financial means and those who lack economic opportunity. My hope is that this grows toward helping more people throughout the Milwaukee areas and beyond. We need it!


The second reason I am writing is because it seems that these past weeks I have been really challenged by my own frustrated attitudes and realize that this semester has been a complete shift in rhythm. I am going to say this again...and believe I have alluded to it before...finding and keeping balance is a huge challenge for me.  Last semester was sweet because I could study in the evenings and did not have to set an alarm. The gift was I did not have to teach until 9:50 a.m. and love that time. Well, this semester I need to be at school by 7:30 a.m. and it is leaving me tired. Going to bed at an earlier time is not happening and that is needing to be adjusted. So, my hope is that if this week I attempt to get to bed earlier things may flow more smoothly. Well, Tuesday night is class so sleep is a bust but tonight and the others should have possibilities. The things that have been going better are prayer, meditation and exercise. My hope is that adding sleep to the mix will not cause another thing to drop-out...which is what usually occurs. So, now that I am at the end of this little rant I do not know why this second point was pertinent to tonights blog. I was going to erase it, yet somehow sharing with you does offer an assist with my tenacity. Oh, wait...it was a point a gratitude that I have the opportunity not only to have my health taken care of, I also have a ministry (and I absolutely adore the students that I teach) and am a student and in my crankiness need to remember that these are both things that some people will never have and in reality I cherish in what grounds me. Maybe this is smarmy, I think it is, yet true.

What Happened to the 70s?

Oh my....I am spending the night with my Mom and she is playing Music Choice and we now are into "Love Hurts" on the 1970s channel...we already lived through "The Night Chicago Died" and "Carwash." Funny thing is this Al Green song just flipped on and she thought it was Tina Turner (one of my favorites). The woman makes me laugh (not Tina, my Mom). I think the 70s have a place in the scheme of things, and some of the stuff is great...my guess is that much of what I remember are the One Hit Wonders of the era and some greats like Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and the Eagles. As we are sitting around talking I keep remembering singing into brushes and playing air guitar on brooms with my cousin Tracy while jamming out to KISS. Thanks for the laughs tonight Mom!!!!

Today the meditation group I belong to met and as we gathered it was so nice to be with them again. Last time I missed our meeting and recognize that this was a loss. As we talked one of the members brought up the "Hopi Elders Prayer." It is a challenge to be a spiritual seeker and observe how we hold ourselves back when unable to let go. This can be something from the past, an idea, fantasy or even blocking a passage for change. My guess is I am not the only one that wants to hold on at times and must listen to the wisdom of the elders, while pushing off from the shore. Two things that arise for me are the need to be willing to follow possibilities, and know the task at hand cannot be done alone. Rather than ramble-on I am attaching the video...the prayer begins about two minutes into it.

Well, I am going to get back to the 70s with my Mom as she hums along to a song I never heard (She just said she hasn't heard it since the 70s. Listening to it now I can understand why). Good night and thanks for being here with me!

The new year has been totally kicking my butt this past week. Can you believe we are already through the first week? I can't. And the thing I remember about today is that it is Elvis' birthday, don't ask me why that sticks with me (I haven't been a fan since Kindergarten).

I am delighted that I did not set a New Year's resolution as I would have blown it by Tuesday for sure. So, this is a point of success that would be a great talking point if I were a motivational speaker. Imagine it! Standing in front of a room full of people. They are all filled with expectant hope that they will leave the workshop with a morsel of information that could change their habits and move them toward success. And I come walking out on to the stage and just tell it straight, "I have found the cure to broken resolutions. Just don't make them!" I wonder if people would applaud or possibly ask for their money back. I used to sell cemetery property (this is pre-Sister days) and we had access to any motivational speaker you can imagine. Of course, the reality is that if you can sell cemetery property you can sell anything. The other reality is that although I loved the job it was not a great fit. Basically, I was broke and recognized after a few years that selling was not my business. The most gratifying part of this endeavor was walking with the families as they walked through their grief. I learned during this period that their is nothing more resilient than the human spirit.

Wednesday, I attended a funeral for the mother of a student and that was a difficult day. The service was filled with love and tenderness shared by people who love her. These past days I continue to wonder about this student's well-being and the impact this loss will have on his life. Yesterday, I attended a prayer service and funeral for one of the members of my community. It was a beautiful tribute and the stories shared by her family and the sisters were lovely. And, right now I am emotionally spent and feel sad. Tonight my prayers reach-out to all who are grieving the loss of a loved one and ask that as we walk together we see the light of God's love in the inspiration of those we have loved and the new journey they are now walking before us.

Wintery Mix, Finally!

Happy New Year! Well, Milwaukee has finally found our way into some wintery weather. It has been a long time since we experienced real snow (at least two seasons have passed) and tonight it looks like the grass is beginning to have its white, fluffy coat again. I hope it stays for a while!!!

Director: Kay Pollak

Last week was a time of catching-up and preparing for 2012...if you can really prepare for the new year. After Christmas I headed down to East Chicago, IN for a three day retreat. On the way down I called two of my Sisters from the community to meet for lunch. It was a great send-off for the days ahead. I was not thinking I wanted the silence as much as I did when the reservations were made for this retreat. Wow, did I find out that I was wrong about that. As I entered into the space the tiredness of the last semester became apparent. It was time for much rest, prayer and shared reflection. On the first night I spent time watching the Swedish film As it is in Heaven and it set the tone for the days. It is all about a man's journey through love while discovering who he is in the process. It is a great film and the acting is superb. It helped me to reflect on some of the ways love has materialized in my life, particularly through teaching and community. Both of these things bring me to greater authenticity and joy. And, also challenge me to open my heart more to the presence of others. There are days when my ego blows up all over the place and my life becomes vicki-centric (likely more days than not) and these last few years the awareness of that reality has become more apparent (yech). When my relationships are only about me  it creates a barrier that is beginning to cause me discomfort...I guess because it lacks authenticity. In the film the main character, Daniel, only begins to experience love as he peals away the layers of restraint that confine his life. While working through his own challenges he is invited to help a Church choir organize and grow in their singing ministry. Ultimately he the choir through liberated expressions of the creative life through his gifts as a musical composer and director. The life within himself is unexpected and rich with surprises. Tonight as this reflection occurs it seems like my aspirations are shifting as, like Daniel, my measure of success changes toward love rather than approval. And, according to the strength of the vicki-centric self this will offer me plenty of work to touch back on over time.

Merry Christmas!

Well, here is what it was like with the family last night. Santa brought together those of us who share my mother's genetic code through fancy outfits made for slumbering. If I attempt to give you the entire story you might be sleeping by the time it is finished. So in brief, it goes something like this: My Mom's name is Darlene and true to stereotypical form there is creative tension between her and my brother-in-law. Those of us related to her have at various times been systematically assigned a number in relation to her primary number, "One." Through this scrutiny we are known as "D-1," "D-2,""D-3," etc. Lucky for us Santa and my brother-in-law have a close connection and we now have matching apparel with a Dr. Seuss theme that replaces "D" with "Thing." I am not sure which is worse...or better...but I know that it was hard to stop laughing for the picture. Thanks Santa for your thoughtfulness!

On to a brighter and more central theme for our time together. We are celebrating today the gift of God irrupting into the world. What a great thing to share! Last night I went to mass with my nephew (that would be Thing 5 in the picture), and it was delightful to share the experience with him. We had a conversation in the car about Jesus being human and divine. These mysteries leave me speechless most days and I am grateful that once again I was invited to think about my faith in Jesus Christ. I then made an attempt to articulate what it means to believe in the birth of someone who is both fully human and fully divine. As I write I am curious how some of you celebrated today and how your faith is influenced by Emmanuel-God with us? So, please write and share.

I am Willing

We are entering the final days of Advent and with Mary have an opportunity to say, "Yes!" to carrying the Incarnate One with us. I only know this because I did the readings. Unfortunately, I was late for Mass this morning and nothing came into focus until Communion. While doing the readings I thought it would have been wise to share "Breath of Heaven" this week. I do wonder as I sit here whether my "Yes" is firm. 

Today, I am feeling a bit disconnected  from the readings. Today, I am not feeling the creative spark to write about this week in Advent. I have asked my self what does it mean to give life to Christ? And, today the only thing I can think about is the joy I received this weekend while in Fond du Lac at the Mother House visiting with some of my sisters. This was the first weekend in months that I have connected with so many CSA and that filled my heart anew. These women encourage me to continue saying, "Yes!" by their presence and commitment. This weekend it was through them that I witnessed the potency of Christ during Advent. And the truth is one of them skunked me in Cribbage and even in her moment (and my reversed boasting) there was something shared.  Connections like this are what it means for me to say "Yes!" to the angel Gabriel.  I won't be so bold as to say, "Bring it on!" Yet, this evening the response is summed up in the song "I am Willing," by Holly Near. Unfortunately, I cannot get a decent download of the song so will save it for another time.

God Hears Us, Through Us

This weekend brought about an opportunity to spend time with my two sisters in Chicago and we had a blast. It was a time set apart for one another and, I think they would agree, it was a success. While trying to get to a bus yesterday one of the first things I experienced was a man by the name of Ishmael (translated-God will listen/hear) who was seeking some change. The temperatures were frigid and he said if there wasn't change he would take smiles. His eyes were bright and when I looked into them the experience evoked both sadness and joy. He made me want to smile and take a moment to just be present. We chatted for a bit while I remembered what a friend said a couple of weeks ago about a man she met on the streets. Basically, she said she recognized that his job of begging was so much harder than hers. Yesterday her words opened my heart in a very big way. I did not have any cash. So, asked if he would take prayers and a hug. He accepted both. 

These are difficult times. Upon return from Chicago I ran to the store for some items. As I walked in a woman I know greeted me and, throughout our conversation, informed me her husband has been out of full-time employment for nearly a year. In my mind's eye there was this flash of Ishmael and what it was like to be with him yesterday. While shopping I thought of what it might be like to be missing a necessary income in a family. I then thought of some other people I know who are unemployed or underemployed and their struggles. Their is great cruelty in poverty and as economic gaps continue to grow its face becomes more clear. My prayers reach out to those who are struggling to get through these difficult realities. I hope that we-as a living human community-can come together and join Ishmael and others as they seek survival. We need each other in order to share in this moment of time and be assured that indeed, God hears the cry of the poor through the language of our hearts and the action of our hands.