Merry Christmas!

Well, here is what it was like with the family last night. Santa brought together those of us who share my mother's genetic code through fancy outfits made for slumbering. If I attempt to give you the entire story you might be sleeping by the time it is finished. So in brief, it goes something like this: My Mom's name is Darlene and true to stereotypical form there is creative tension between her and my brother-in-law. Those of us related to her have at various times been systematically assigned a number in relation to her primary number, "One." Through this scrutiny we are known as "D-1," "D-2,""D-3," etc. Lucky for us Santa and my brother-in-law have a close connection and we now have matching apparel with a Dr. Seuss theme that replaces "D" with "Thing." I am not sure which is worse...or better...but I know that it was hard to stop laughing for the picture. Thanks Santa for your thoughtfulness!

On to a brighter and more central theme for our time together. We are celebrating today the gift of God irrupting into the world. What a great thing to share! Last night I went to mass with my nephew (that would be Thing 5 in the picture), and it was delightful to share the experience with him. We had a conversation in the car about Jesus being human and divine. These mysteries leave me speechless most days and I am grateful that once again I was invited to think about my faith in Jesus Christ. I then made an attempt to articulate what it means to believe in the birth of someone who is both fully human and fully divine. As I write I am curious how some of you celebrated today and how your faith is influenced by Emmanuel-God with us? So, please write and share.

I am Willing

We are entering the final days of Advent and with Mary have an opportunity to say, "Yes!" to carrying the Incarnate One with us. I only know this because I did the readings. Unfortunately, I was late for Mass this morning and nothing came into focus until Communion. While doing the readings I thought it would have been wise to share "Breath of Heaven" this week. I do wonder as I sit here whether my "Yes" is firm. 

Today, I am feeling a bit disconnected  from the readings. Today, I am not feeling the creative spark to write about this week in Advent. I have asked my self what does it mean to give life to Christ? And, today the only thing I can think about is the joy I received this weekend while in Fond du Lac at the Mother House visiting with some of my sisters. This was the first weekend in months that I have connected with so many CSA and that filled my heart anew. These women encourage me to continue saying, "Yes!" by their presence and commitment. This weekend it was through them that I witnessed the potency of Christ during Advent. And the truth is one of them skunked me in Cribbage and even in her moment (and my reversed boasting) there was something shared.  Connections like this are what it means for me to say "Yes!" to the angel Gabriel.  I won't be so bold as to say, "Bring it on!" Yet, this evening the response is summed up in the song "I am Willing," by Holly Near. Unfortunately, I cannot get a decent download of the song so will save it for another time.

God Hears Us, Through Us

This weekend brought about an opportunity to spend time with my two sisters in Chicago and we had a blast. It was a time set apart for one another and, I think they would agree, it was a success. While trying to get to a bus yesterday one of the first things I experienced was a man by the name of Ishmael (translated-God will listen/hear) who was seeking some change. The temperatures were frigid and he said if there wasn't change he would take smiles. His eyes were bright and when I looked into them the experience evoked both sadness and joy. He made me want to smile and take a moment to just be present. We chatted for a bit while I remembered what a friend said a couple of weeks ago about a man she met on the streets. Basically, she said she recognized that his job of begging was so much harder than hers. Yesterday her words opened my heart in a very big way. I did not have any cash. So, asked if he would take prayers and a hug. He accepted both. 

These are difficult times. Upon return from Chicago I ran to the store for some items. As I walked in a woman I know greeted me and, throughout our conversation, informed me her husband has been out of full-time employment for nearly a year. In my mind's eye there was this flash of Ishmael and what it was like to be with him yesterday. While shopping I thought of what it might be like to be missing a necessary income in a family. I then thought of some other people I know who are unemployed or underemployed and their struggles. Their is great cruelty in poverty and as economic gaps continue to grow its face becomes more clear. My prayers reach out to those who are struggling to get through these difficult realities. I hope that we-as a living human community-can come together and join Ishmael and others as they seek survival. We need each other in order to share in this moment of time and be assured that indeed, God hears the cry of the poor through the language of our hearts and the action of our hands.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

I love that the days are getting shorter as we move further into this season. Last week there were a few snow flakes in the air. Something about the crispness of Winter coming gives me much excitement. This week I finish the semester for my course work and today was thinking I might attempt to get hooked-up with some Christmas volunteer activity. I thought about ringing the bells for the Salvation Army and might check into it tomorrow. There is something that is pushing me to help others in different ways. My guess is that the last months have been so focused on studying that I need to find a way to get outside of my head and into the reality of other people's needs. This happens with my own teaching, yet I am not spending as much time in the classroom and am missing that connection. Somehow writing this down in the blog might force my hand on following through with my desire to volunteer. And, then again, it might not.

 

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel is likely my favorite preparatory song during advent as I reflect on what it means to be in waiting today. Yesterday we (my local community) went to experience A Christmas Carol and while they broke into this very song it echoed through me. I experienced Ebenezer Scrooge while he witnessed his own imprisonment and the shackles that weighed him down seem so apparent. You know last night I had time to think about those shackles and how easily I can see them in others. Then I began to reflect on some of the shackles in my own life and how obvious they might be to others. There is a transparency that we are forced to deal with when in relationships, and unfortunately I think that if we saw ourselves as others do our lives might take a serious change. So, as I was reflecting some of the barbs in my own behaviors began to come to the fore and Scrooge no longer seemed so far away. I then realized that although I can be insensitive, or a jerk, or whatever negative thought comes to mind, there is a core belief that the light will always shine in the darkness. Unlike Scrooge, I know that there is goodness in the world and experience it in so many ways, and this reality has melted my heart over and over again. I hope that all of us recognize the shackles that bind us this season. It is my greater hope that we have the courage and strength to ask for help as we begin to gently remove them from our lives. Blessings as we enter into the second week of Advent!

No Night of Ease

 Today marks the beginning of Advent and the Gospel reading presents Jesus talking about the need for watchfulness ("May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: 'Watch!'"-- MK 13:36-37). Tagore captures this sentiment for me. If we are to watch we are awakening in God's love and that can only mean unrest. The qualities of Advent that are most appealing to me are the darkness and the desire to spend these weeks in hibernation. Doesn't that sound like the appeal of winter. The darkness comes over us early, like 4:00 p.m. here in Wisconsin, and the cold air is beginning to be experienced more often, tonight it is 32 degrees outside and the desire to rest is strong. All we need is some logs and a rolling fire to set us up for a Norman Rockwell experience (that is if you have a fire place). These are the days when I want to curl up and just sleep. And then we hear Jesus say that it is time to watch.

Reality check: Sometimes following Jesus can be a real drag. Of course, I am thinking this is the time when we begin to wait for his birth and he is telling us what to do. How does that work? Bossy child is one thing...but the unborn being so demanding, really? I have spent the last weeks daydreaming about what book I want to read after the fall semester ends (something that has nothing to do with my life preferably) and today I am sitting in Liturgy and hear these words about being watchful. Let me tell you this brings about sudden irritation. What I really want to do is hibernate and not be connected with anything productive and being watchful demands that I am ready to be involved if needed.

After the readings and homily there was this adorable little baby that was baptized, wow, what a contrast. We welcomed new life into the Church today which means that for this little guy and his family there is no more waiting. It is so hard to be heated with Jesus when you are celebrating him in the Sacraments. I felt a sudden responsibility for this newborn child whose Mom and Dad do not have the luxury of hibernating for the winter and in reality, neither do I. In this day there were a couple of lessons. First, life continues, even in the darkness. Second, if I am to honor life I have to be watchful. Finally, to wake in God's love is to offer my life throughout all seasons of the year, even Advent. I leave you with a prayer from Rabindranath Tagore.

No Night of Ease

When I awake in Your love, my night of ease

will be ended.

Your sunrise will touch my heart with its

touchstone of fire, and my voyage will begin its

orbit of triumphant suffering.

I shall dare to take up death's challenge and

carry Your voice into the heart of mockery and

menace.

I shall bare my breast against the wrongs

hurled at Your children and take the risk of

standing by Your side, where none but You

remains. 

Holy Hill Retreat

This weekend I attended an overnight retreat at Holy Hill (I so love that area) ->for those of you who do not know about Holy Hill I am adding the link (www.holyhill.com). It was one of those situations when I really did not have the time, nor the energy to be away from my own studies. However, something nudged me to go (long story) and I listened. This was my first retreat that was not silent/directed and I was somewhat nervous about it.  Upon arrival, after settling in a bit, we shared in small circles about the word 'present.' Can you believe it? Present, have they been reading along with us this month...totally blew my mind after the past month or so and my concern about this topic?  I felt like a puppy running in circles chasing it's own tale (now, we all know that type of excitement, and in some ways it seems anything but present, and there I was with a little 'woo-hoo' in my heart from the get-go). Of course I did not want others to know my simple animated cheerful state so I sat and chatted rather than exhibit the internal puppy-effect.


The structure of the retreat was set-up through three over-arching themes: 1. Present/Connected, 2. Compassion/Gratitude and 3. Hope/Peace. The sharing was rich and the people were great. We watched the film Of Gods and Men, a must see for those interested in a solid inspirational film. Then, three of us went for a late night stroll down the steep incline that holds the Stations of the Cross. Funny story, as we were walking one member of the group said she would not take such a walk alone at night and the other agreed. I made some comment that about being able to do it alone and that there was nothing to fear out there. Well, wouldn't you know it. Within minutes I heard a noise and grabbed the shoulder of one of my companions in fear. Okay, so maybe I am not so brave. I am adding a song to this post to share some of what I felt this weekend. Have a great Thanksgiving! Blessings, Vicki

Presence

"Though we may not reflect too frequently on the vast infinity that surrounds us, something within us is always aware of it. Such infinity can be anonymous and threatening; it makes us feel inconsequential and tiny. Unknown to us this intensifies our hunger to belong."

John O'Donohue 

Eternal Echoes

 

There were some things in the news this week that broke my heart and all of this news dealt with people who did not recognize the gift of life in themselves or others. My thought is that they have attempted to numb their hunger and now are being consumed by it. Belonging is a big thing and the hunger to belong is something that I imagine all of us experience at varying levels. The infinity that surrounds us sometimes seems like the only real thing that exists in the world. This can create feelings of isolation and longing. Belonging is a difficult awareness to hold. There are so many ways to belong as family, friend, employee, community member,  student, citizen and human person...and so much more. Yet, even with all of these connections there are times that the sense of infinity creeps in and does become a threat. It is in those moments that we as humans stand on the edge of our existence. The temptation is to reject what we know in our relationship to the other. This can be detrimental and I imagine all of us have done it. And then there are those who are convinced they have no one, no place, or no moment that connects them to the rest of us. These are the extremes of knowing only the infinity and being caught in some nihilistic cycle. Tonight I pray for all of the people who are not aware of their belonging who only experience the vastness of their longing and are losing sight of, or have lost sight of their connections.