O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

I love that the days are getting shorter as we move further into this season. Last week there were a few snow flakes in the air. Something about the crispness of Winter coming gives me much excitement. This week I finish the semester for my course work and today was thinking I might attempt to get hooked-up with some Christmas volunteer activity. I thought about ringing the bells for the Salvation Army and might check into it tomorrow. There is something that is pushing me to help others in different ways. My guess is that the last months have been so focused on studying that I need to find a way to get outside of my head and into the reality of other people's needs. This happens with my own teaching, yet I am not spending as much time in the classroom and am missing that connection. Somehow writing this down in the blog might force my hand on following through with my desire to volunteer. And, then again, it might not.

 

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel is likely my favorite preparatory song during advent as I reflect on what it means to be in waiting today. Yesterday we (my local community) went to experience A Christmas Carol and while they broke into this very song it echoed through me. I experienced Ebenezer Scrooge while he witnessed his own imprisonment and the shackles that weighed him down seem so apparent. You know last night I had time to think about those shackles and how easily I can see them in others. Then I began to reflect on some of the shackles in my own life and how obvious they might be to others. There is a transparency that we are forced to deal with when in relationships, and unfortunately I think that if we saw ourselves as others do our lives might take a serious change. So, as I was reflecting some of the barbs in my own behaviors began to come to the fore and Scrooge no longer seemed so far away. I then realized that although I can be insensitive, or a jerk, or whatever negative thought comes to mind, there is a core belief that the light will always shine in the darkness. Unlike Scrooge, I know that there is goodness in the world and experience it in so many ways, and this reality has melted my heart over and over again. I hope that all of us recognize the shackles that bind us this season. It is my greater hope that we have the courage and strength to ask for help as we begin to gently remove them from our lives. Blessings as we enter into the second week of Advent!

No Night of Ease

 Today marks the beginning of Advent and the Gospel reading presents Jesus talking about the need for watchfulness ("May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: 'Watch!'"-- MK 13:36-37). Tagore captures this sentiment for me. If we are to watch we are awakening in God's love and that can only mean unrest. The qualities of Advent that are most appealing to me are the darkness and the desire to spend these weeks in hibernation. Doesn't that sound like the appeal of winter. The darkness comes over us early, like 4:00 p.m. here in Wisconsin, and the cold air is beginning to be experienced more often, tonight it is 32 degrees outside and the desire to rest is strong. All we need is some logs and a rolling fire to set us up for a Norman Rockwell experience (that is if you have a fire place). These are the days when I want to curl up and just sleep. And then we hear Jesus say that it is time to watch.

Reality check: Sometimes following Jesus can be a real drag. Of course, I am thinking this is the time when we begin to wait for his birth and he is telling us what to do. How does that work? Bossy child is one thing...but the unborn being so demanding, really? I have spent the last weeks daydreaming about what book I want to read after the fall semester ends (something that has nothing to do with my life preferably) and today I am sitting in Liturgy and hear these words about being watchful. Let me tell you this brings about sudden irritation. What I really want to do is hibernate and not be connected with anything productive and being watchful demands that I am ready to be involved if needed.

After the readings and homily there was this adorable little baby that was baptized, wow, what a contrast. We welcomed new life into the Church today which means that for this little guy and his family there is no more waiting. It is so hard to be heated with Jesus when you are celebrating him in the Sacraments. I felt a sudden responsibility for this newborn child whose Mom and Dad do not have the luxury of hibernating for the winter and in reality, neither do I. In this day there were a couple of lessons. First, life continues, even in the darkness. Second, if I am to honor life I have to be watchful. Finally, to wake in God's love is to offer my life throughout all seasons of the year, even Advent. I leave you with a prayer from Rabindranath Tagore.

No Night of Ease

When I awake in Your love, my night of ease

will be ended.

Your sunrise will touch my heart with its

touchstone of fire, and my voyage will begin its

orbit of triumphant suffering.

I shall dare to take up death's challenge and

carry Your voice into the heart of mockery and

menace.

I shall bare my breast against the wrongs

hurled at Your children and take the risk of

standing by Your side, where none but You

remains. 

Holy Hill Retreat

This weekend I attended an overnight retreat at Holy Hill (I so love that area) ->for those of you who do not know about Holy Hill I am adding the link (www.holyhill.com). It was one of those situations when I really did not have the time, nor the energy to be away from my own studies. However, something nudged me to go (long story) and I listened. This was my first retreat that was not silent/directed and I was somewhat nervous about it.  Upon arrival, after settling in a bit, we shared in small circles about the word 'present.' Can you believe it? Present, have they been reading along with us this month...totally blew my mind after the past month or so and my concern about this topic?  I felt like a puppy running in circles chasing it's own tale (now, we all know that type of excitement, and in some ways it seems anything but present, and there I was with a little 'woo-hoo' in my heart from the get-go). Of course I did not want others to know my simple animated cheerful state so I sat and chatted rather than exhibit the internal puppy-effect.


The structure of the retreat was set-up through three over-arching themes: 1. Present/Connected, 2. Compassion/Gratitude and 3. Hope/Peace. The sharing was rich and the people were great. We watched the film Of Gods and Men, a must see for those interested in a solid inspirational film. Then, three of us went for a late night stroll down the steep incline that holds the Stations of the Cross. Funny story, as we were walking one member of the group said she would not take such a walk alone at night and the other agreed. I made some comment that about being able to do it alone and that there was nothing to fear out there. Well, wouldn't you know it. Within minutes I heard a noise and grabbed the shoulder of one of my companions in fear. Okay, so maybe I am not so brave. I am adding a song to this post to share some of what I felt this weekend. Have a great Thanksgiving! Blessings, Vicki

Presence

"Though we may not reflect too frequently on the vast infinity that surrounds us, something within us is always aware of it. Such infinity can be anonymous and threatening; it makes us feel inconsequential and tiny. Unknown to us this intensifies our hunger to belong."

John O'Donohue 

Eternal Echoes

 

There were some things in the news this week that broke my heart and all of this news dealt with people who did not recognize the gift of life in themselves or others. My thought is that they have attempted to numb their hunger and now are being consumed by it. Belonging is a big thing and the hunger to belong is something that I imagine all of us experience at varying levels. The infinity that surrounds us sometimes seems like the only real thing that exists in the world. This can create feelings of isolation and longing. Belonging is a difficult awareness to hold. There are so many ways to belong as family, friend, employee, community member,  student, citizen and human person...and so much more. Yet, even with all of these connections there are times that the sense of infinity creeps in and does become a threat. It is in those moments that we as humans stand on the edge of our existence. The temptation is to reject what we know in our relationship to the other. This can be detrimental and I imagine all of us have done it. And then there are those who are convinced they have no one, no place, or no moment that connects them to the rest of us. These are the extremes of knowing only the infinity and being caught in some nihilistic cycle. Tonight I pray for all of the people who are not aware of their belonging who only experience the vastness of their longing and are losing sight of, or have lost sight of their connections.

From the Circus to the Moon and the Steady Flow of Life

October flew by and we have arrived at daylight savings time. Just wanted to put down some nuts and bolts type notes about the past month or so. October began with a silver jubilee celebration for one of the sisters in my local community. We celebrated her commitment of 25 years with a Chicago experience of the Universoul Circus. If you look at her picture she is content on the ground...and then she went for the ride of her life. Woohoo....gotta love the elephants. A good time was had by all and we ended the evening with a fantastic meal from Leona's, yum. I would like to give a shout out to all of the people that were involved in this spectacular event. So, happy jubilee Madeline! You provided an opportunity for us to be together for a great time!

Two weeks after that another trip to Chicago was in store (glad I picked up the I-Pass this summer) as I headed to the Adler Planetarium with a former student for another splendid experience. We soaked it all in as we attended the Deep Space Adventure. The first time I experienced the exhibit was on retreat this summer and I was completely moved by the visual stimulation. We walked through the planetarium and as you can see there is a moon exhibit, in the past I have skipped this. Oftentimes I take the wide-eyed X-Files approach to the moon landing. However, this part of the experience was not as Hollywood as I expected it to be. The day was great and much fun was had (while writing this I keep thinking of REM's "Man on the Moon").

This past month has been full and fruitful. Sprinkled throughout October were the realities of the dailiness of it all, community time, family time (with only two members), another birthday party with friends, meetings, etc. Last night I was so excited about turning the clocks back (like a kid a Christmas excited) that I wanted to stay up late. So, when I was ready to collapse I turned everything back and ended up going to bed at 9:30 p.m. Hmmmmm not what I initially had in mind for a late night. Maybe next year.

Heaven

For the past week I cannot get the song Heaven by Brett Dennen (featuring Natalie Merchant) out of my head. The third or fourth verse is:


Throw away your myth misconceptions
There ain't no walls around heaven
There are no codes you gotta know to get in
No minutemen or border patrol

Listening to the lyrics offers me a solemn hope that is indescribable, it is likely a combination of the lyrics and the mellowing sound. In times like these we are challenged to find our Gospel conscience regarding Iraq, Afghanistan, immigration, healthcare, education, Wall Street, and ad infinitum. The above verse offers insight into the grace that flows from our Creator as we look in our hearts and decide how to act. The Gospel is a dangerous response to life. It requires that we not allow opportunity for complacency and trepidation. We are to seek conviction in the life of Jesus Christ and through this experience the emancipatory love given to us and then offer that same love to others. Thinking about Heaven does not have to be some lofty enterprise and in the verses of this song right now I am finding a home. It is not a home that is open to my snuggling-up into false security or holds me hostage to my own lack of consideration. No, in the Heaven Dennen describes goodness and change are fostered and all are welcome, something we do not often find here on earth. This song is challenging me to think of my commitment to the Gospels this week and the role that Jesus played in them, as well as what he had to say about Heaven

A Presence That Disturbs

I have learned

to look on nature, not as in the hour

of thoughtless youth; but hearing oftentimes

the still sad music of humanity,

nor harsh nor grating, though of ample power

to chasten and subdue. And I have felt

a presence that disturbs me with the joy

of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime

of something far more deeply interfused,

whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,

and the round ocean and the living air,

and the blue sky, and in the mind of humans:

A motion and a spirit that impels

all thinking things, all objects of all thought,

and rolls through all things.

William Wordsworth (1170-1850)

“Tintern Abbey” (1798)

Lines 88FF

The above is taken from the book A Presence That Disturbs: A Call to Radical Discipleship, Anthony Gittins, CSSp, and is the foundation for a prayer service and conversation that I am preparing for tonight (if this is published after 12:00 a.m. that is...tomorrow if before). The line that continually returns to my thoughts is "but hearing oftentimes the still sad music of humanity." I can almost feel a heavy melody played out by flutes and cellos as I read this short section. All day I have been thinking of the events in Libya and the news that Ghadafi is dead. I am disturbed by this news. I cannot yet articulate what is disturbing me, there is a depth to this feeling that I have not been able to shake or articulate. The "presence that disturbs me with the joy of elevated thoughts" is also the presence that disturbs me in this moment of silence. Tonight the people of Libya are in my prayers as they work toward putting the pieces of their lives together. I think part of the sadness is that although the tyrannical leader is gone after much struggle so many people in Libya are left with broken lives. This will be a long, strenuous journey toward greater emancipation. Fortunately, they have one another to hold onto during this time and the hope of "a spirit that impels." The delicate hand that plays the cello through the "sad music of humanity" is indeed playing out the realities faced during such turmoil. In this music we have the opportunity to heed the rest of the piece if we are disturbed enough to lend our lives to the harmony that is needed. Together we may be able to create the beauty that is a necessary accompaniment to such tragedy.