Sunday, September 2, 2012
Tomorrow the Sisters of St. Agnes celebrates our Founders Day. Today at mass I kept thinking about what it means to be in this community. We were started to assist German immigrants in this area of the country and things have shifted much over the years. Ever since my novitiate I have wondered about our relevance as a community and continue to be challenged in serving others through that concern. My guess is any one of us, sister or not, could afford to look into our lives and check whether we are relevant. Does my life mean something outside of my limited scope of existence? That is the question I sit with. My hope is to be of service. I also hope to practice prayer and silence in order to be relevant. I feel this need to connect to the people I minister with and to, and recognize that at times it is not easy to live out the risk of exposing myself as vulnerable in the spiritual life. I wonder what it was like for the founders of my community. Whether they had the desire to put on a false face when they felt most vulnerable. What were the fears that they lived with every day? In my head the ministry was clear for them, yet they were living with serious issues of survival. Would they have enough food to offer themselves and share with others? This week I was worried about my broken computer and how I was going to get power points together for teaching. It is a luxury to have such a worry and sometimes in the panic of the moment that is easy to forget. Now, this is not an easy realization when it is easier to get all up in arms and circle about like a crazy woman who is dependent on technology to survive and minister. Life is much more complex than it was in previous centuries. And, it seems that this is a choice not a mandate. It seems that relevance is grounded in awareness and that slowing down...my perpetual need...is the only thing that can help to live it out authentically. Maybe I need to re-think this. Anyway, have a great week and happy day!